So, it was decided, having already visited Arillas many times, this time, we would drive. Not only would we drive, we would stick two kids in the back of the car (ours I hasten to add) Not only would we drive and stick 2 kids in the back of the car, we would also tow the boat! O.M.G.! It all started well enough, you know, the bit from London to Dover! We arrived in Calais at 06.am we even have video footage of us all smiling and speaking to one another. The kids were a little tetchy, Hubby was displaying signs of the marathon runner i.e. I kept getting the distinct impression that he might not stop until we got into Germany! I was suffering from lack of ciggies (not allowed to smoke in the car). In actual fact he did not stop the car until we hit Switzerland (at) 18.00 hrs. I swear to god I was ready to kill him, the kids were taking chunks out of each other and the whole thing was becoming a nightmare. We then drove around Switzerland looking for a Hotel that had a large enough ( and visible enough) car park to accommodate both the car and the boat. Eventually, we found one in a beautiful spot on Lake Lucerne. We checked in, hubby collapsed on to the bed while me and the kids sat on the Lake`s edge & ate spag boll washed down with cold beer (me not the kids). We had an early start the next day (obviously marathon man had recouperated) and set off once more. Unfortunately, mont blanc tunnel was closed! No problem says marathon man, we will drive over the alps!!! even more unfortunately, the range rover was suffering from the lack of oxygen (I was suffering from too flaming much) (no ciggies) so it took ages with this poor car trying to tow the boat onward and upwards. Then, finally we were making our descent. Problem. BIG problem. The trailer brakes had jammed in the ON position. We descended in a cloud of smoke all the way to the carriageway where we finally were able to stop. OK so now we have to explain to the 4 police officers (where the hell did they come from) why, a) we had stopped on the carriageway b) why we were polluting the athmosphere c) why our kids appeared to be holding handfulls of human hair and d) why was marathon mans wife smoking 5 ciggies at once! The kids by this stage were busting to use the loo so I threw them into the back of the boat whereupon they proceeded to pass 2 gallons of pee! I crawled out of the boat, put out my ciggies, removed the human hair from their fists and chucked 2 gallons of pee all over the brakes!!! Job done! We then proceeded to drive through Italy. O.M.G. how big is that place! we drove and we drove, marathon man was in his element I truly thought we were going to go all the way to Brindisi without another stopover. The Bank Holiday. Thank god for the Italian Bank Holiday. The roads came to a standstill. Everyone and their cat was on the road. Marathon Man couldnt take it, finally he conceeded, OK he says, we will stopover for the night! Yippee! says me, Yippee (ouch, gerroff, it was your fault) say the kids. So, we decide to get on the coast road and find a nice place to stay... unfortunately so had everyone else.. not the best plan as we are now on a oneway street, the only roads off it were narrow and with low, and I mean low, bridges running accross them. Its ok says marahon man, we will get under there, no problem. BIG problem, we are stuck. The range rover got through, the boat didnt. No problem says marathon man, you jump out and guide me back. I jump out. I jump back in even faster. Trying to stay calm, I explain that there is a traffic jam as long as the nile and it starts kind of about 2 feet from our stern! Well says marathon man, your good with people, just ask them all to back up a bit...... picture this.... on one side of the road there are about 50 Italian men ALL telling marathon man the best way to proceed, on the other corner there are about 60 Italian women telling the 50 Italian men that they dont know what they are talking about and shouldnt I perhaps consider leaving marathon man... leave him.... I was ready to kill him! Finally, I dont know how, we did manage to extracate our selves from our awfull position and proceeded to rejoin the main road where I felt sure there would be a motel. Ureka... a motel! Oooooh say the kids dosent it look nice and new, ooooh says marathon man, lets book in here, ooohhh says I, I want beer and ciggies NOW! We proceeded to check in, it was a very large motel & very new, so new in fact, that we were the 1st and only guests. So new they actually hadnt quite got around to acquiring a chef..... To be fair, the manager, who was also the bell boy and the maid and just for us, for one night only... the chef.... did try to make things a little better for us. He cooked a pot of Spag boll (again) provided copious amount of cold beer and even put a bucket under the stream of water that was gushing through the ceiling right behind marathon mans head! God this was fun. So, after only our 2nd nights sleep since leaving London we were well over half way down Italy. We had got another early start ( there was no way he was doing breakfast) and proceeded along the highway down to Brindisi. We had about another 45mins to go, so marathon man decided we would stop for a nice cold drink and try to relax a little (I think I knew then, that this was too good to be true) We pulled into a nice little garage refuelled and then sat out in the sunshine with 2 small beers when I casually thought I should inspect our tickets... GET IN THE CAR NOW!!! Ooops... we were due to check-in in 30 mins. We went hell for leather to Brindisi. Brindisi... what can I say about Brindisi.... hell on earth? no, dosent quite cover it... imagine the whole of Italy parked in Brindisi ALL waiting to board our ferry. Its scorching hot, we have to queue for hours to get our passports stamped, so much for the checking in times.. only to be told we have to pay a departure tax... no problem says marathon man, you run up the street, find this little office and pay the man.. o.k.? So I run up the street, its a long street, and I am 20lira short. So I run back down the street, find marathon man sunbathing, and politely ask if by any chance, he might have 20 ******* lira on him! I finally have our precious little bits of paper and we start to move along slowly in our trusty (dusty) rangerover complete with trusty (boat cover ripped to shreads) boat ready to board. It takes me a little while, but eventually I ask marathon man, why is everyone reversing onto the ferry???? O.M.G.!! Picture this.. in order to reverse onto the ferry, having such a long vehicle, we have to drive the wrong way down a oneway street.. the Italians were not best pleased, in fact, in retropspect, i think they were a tad peed off with us! Finally, our trailer wheels are in position to board the ferry. However, in order to board the ferry we had to reverse onto 2 planks of wood on either side of which was of course the harbour... can this get any more stressfull???? The captain, seeing that we had quite an audience and obviously was a bit of a showman, stood on our running board and relayed VERY LOUDLY instructions on how best to avoid drowning! At last we did it!!!! Full credit to marathon man, he really did do a splendid job. We got a huge round of applause (the captain of course did all the bowing) The kids meanwhile had fainted. Still, it was quiet. We finally found our cabin and one by one my family drifted apart, as far apart as we could get from each other and sought solace & calm. About an hour later, marathon man & I found each other cans of beer in hand, we found the kids sitting happily in the early evening sun, we looked at each other and grinned... we did it! Do you know, after all that.. it was so bloody windy in Arillas we only used that boat 3 times!!!!!!!!!!! But even now, 9 years later, whenever anyone talks about holiday experiences, either me or marathon man or the kids will say, do you remember that time we........Maybe, if you are interested, I will tell you about the journey back!! Yammas Angie
Message posted by Sailor on 07 April 2005 at 10:39pm - IP Logged
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Sailor
Oh yes please Angie. The first instalment was brilliant. Sorry to say this, but I had a real good laugh at your story. Hellish for you, but so funny for me.
Just think though, it is all part of the holiday fun isnt it. .
Message posted by Angie_redshoes on 07 April 2005 at 11:02pm - IP Logged
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Thanks Sailor, but do you know what, writing that lot and practiaclly re-living it again has made me come over a little stressed! I will have to leave it for a couple of days and then I will post the return journey, trust me, if you think this one was funny you are gonna fall overboard at the next one! Need a lie down!
Yammas, Angie
Fluffy bubbletush
Message posted by janelc on 07 April 2005 at 11:29pm - IP Logged
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Hi all, glad you enjoyed my misery!! The next installment wil be posted sometime over the weekend, I have got a house full this weekend but I will try to find time to escape and re-live the side splitting events of our return!
Yammas, Angie
Fluffy bubletush
Message posted by John and Hilary on 08 April 2005 at 2:07pm - IP Logged
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<FONT face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" color=blue size=4>Hi John & Hilary, you know how it is.... seemed like a good idea at the time.... you only live once.... what an opportunity...... it was the only boat we had!.... Marathon mans dream.....! I have to say though, even though parts of it were traumatic, we would not have missed it for the world. It was & still is one of the best/worst/funniest/traumatic/interesting/marriage wrecking/romantic experiences we have ever had!
<FONT face="Times New Roman" color=#0000ff size=4>Yammas, Angie
<FONT face="Times New Roman" color=#0000ff size=4>Fluffy bubbletush
Message posted by Angie_redshoes on 08 April 2005 at 3:45pm - IP Logged
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I have no idea how the above gobbledeegook happened! LOL
Yammas, Angie
Fluffy bubbletush
Message posted by Bob and Wendy (Uncle Bob) on 08 April 2005 at 7:45pm - IP Logged
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Bob and Wendy
Well done Angie.
You've restored my faith in ourselves, I've always said that by the law of averages, there must be someone else out there for who things dont go to plan.
It cant be so bad on the return journey, after all you are old hands by now, what can possibly go wrong???
Bob.
Message posted by Angie_redshoes on 08 April 2005 at 8:04pm - IP Logged
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Hi Bob & Wendy always glad to restore faith! You sound as if you have a few tales to tell yourselves! So glad marathon man & I are not the only nutters around!I will get around to the return journey, believe me, its not a preety picture!
Angie
Message posted by armesy on 08 April 2005 at 10:49pm - IP Logged
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What a great story, made even better by the fact that it was true! It must have been a nightmare for you, but a really great read for us all! Can't wait to read "the journey home"
BTW that gobbledegook, is known on here as 'seaangler syndrome'
Dean
Message posted by Angie_redshoes on 08 April 2005 at 11:05pm - IP Logged
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Hi Dean, Its funny you know, I showed the article to marathon man & the kids tonight and they cracked up! They couldnt believe that we actually did go through that. I told them that I am going to write "All roads lead to Corfu - Literally - The return, and they suggested I seek medical advice first!! Its that flippin bad!! LOL
Yammas, Angie
Fluffy Bubbletush
Message posted by Dave666 on 11 April 2005 at 11:26am - IP Logged
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Angie That story is made for a book the struggles we made for Corfu very very most verily entertaining. It is amazing about life how we all seem to take great pleasure in hearing of other peoples misfortunes I certainly enjoyed reading about yours and NO I am not a bad person just but enjoy a good comedy awaiting with baited breath for the next saga to unfold
baza
Message posted by Angie_redshoes on 11 April 2005 at 10:13pm - IP Logged
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Really enjoyed your drive to Corfu and looking forward to the return. Brilliant writing laughing all the way. We have also done the drive and collected a load of incidents. Isn't that part of the reason for doing it?
Tony
Message posted by Angie_redshoes on 12 April 2005 at 9:12am - IP Logged
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That is the best laugh I have had for some years- I can see the scene perfectly. My other half has wanted to drive over from Scotland many times but I have always said no - the thought of getting to Dover was bad enough with the kids in the back of the car. Can't wait to read your next instalment.
DCV
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So, after only our 2nd nights sleep since leaving London we were well over half way down Italy. We had got another early start ( there was no way he was doing breakfast) and proceeded along the highway down to Brindisi. We had about another 45mins to go, so marathon man decided we would stop for a nice cold drink and try to relax a little (I think I knew then, that this was too good to be true) We pulled into a nice little garage refuelled and then sat out in the sunshine with 2 small beers when I casually thought I should inspect our tickets... GET IN THE CAR NOW!!! Ooops... we were due to check-in in 30 mins. We went hell for leather to Brindisi. Brindisi... what can I say about Brindisi.... hell on earth? no, dosent quite cover it... imagine the whole of Italy parked in Brindisi ALL waiting to board our ferry. Its scorching hot, we have to queue for hours to get our passports stamped, so much for the checking in times.. only to be told we have to pay a departure tax... no problem says marathon man, you run up the street, find this little office and pay the man.. o.k.? So I run up the street, its a long street, and I am 20lira short. So I run back down the street, find marathon man sunbathing, and politely ask if by any chance, he might have 20 ******* lira on him! I finally have our precious little bits of paper and we start to move along slowly in our trusty (dusty) rangerover complete with trusty (boat cover ripped to shreads) boat ready to board. It takes me a little while, but eventually I ask marathon man, why is everyone reversing onto the ferry???? O.M.G.!! Picture this.. in order to reverse onto the ferry, having such a long vehicle, we have to drive the wrong way down a oneway street.. the Italians were not best pleased, in fact, in retropspect, i think they were a tad peed off with us! Finally, our trailer wheels are in position to board the ferry. However, in order to board the ferry we had to reverse onto 2 planks of wood on either side of which was of course the harbour... can this get any more stressfull???? The captain, seeing that we had quite an audience and obviously was a bit of a showman, stood on our running board and relayed VERY LOUDLY instructions on how best to avoid drowning! At last we did it!!!! Full credit to marathon man, he really did do a splendid job. We got a huge round of applause (the captain of course did all the bowing) The kids meanwhile had fainted. Still, it was quiet. We finally found our cabin and one by one my family drifted apart, as far apart as we could get from each other and sought solace & calm. About an hour later, marathon man & I found each other cans of beer in hand, we found the kids sitting happily in the early evening sun, we looked at each other and grinned... we did it! Do you know, after all that.. it was so bloody windy in Arillas we only used that boat 3 times!!!!!!!!!!! But even now, 9 years later, whenever anyone talks about holiday experiences, either me or marathon man or the kids will say, do you remember that time we........Maybe, if you are interested, I will tell you about the journey back!! Yammas Angie
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- can't wait for the next installment!!
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